Legacy

I want to leave a legacy,

How will they remember me?

Did I choose to love?

Did I point to you enough?

To make a mark on things

I want to leave an offering

A child of mercy and grace

Who blessed your name unapologetically

And leave that kind of legacy.

- Nichole Nordeman "Legacy"

I never knew my great-grandmother Elizabeth. I mean, sure I was given her name as my middle name at birth. I've heard stories about her from my mama and my grandma.

"My mother was a very hard worker and made sure everyone knew how to do their work well. She fixed nutritious meals, kept home running and prayed to our Heavenly Father every morning and every night. She was very devoted and learned young to stick with anything she needed to take care of. She wanted us to know that we could be healthy and happy if we just trust the Lord and she was right. She would thank the Lord for everything and then make whatever plea she had at that time. After that, she would go into praying for the President and everyone who have the rule over us down from there, including church officials. From there she would pray for her neighbors, her brothers and sisters, then she would cover all of her children and grandchildren (even the ones that were yet unborn). It was wonderful to hear her pray."

Grandma Elizabeth lived to be NINETY years old...and she went to be with the Lord in September of 1990, two months after I was born.

This is the closest thing I have to a picture with her- a picture of my mama holding me at her funeral.

Late last year, her bible came into my possession. It has since become one of my most treasured possessions. As I flip through the pages and discover the Wednesday night supper sign ups, the slips of paper with verses written on them, the verses underlined and dated from sermons back in 1971- it is almost as if I'm beginning to meet my great grandmother for the first time. Reading the verses that she wrote at the back of her well-worn bible makes it almost seem as if she is here with me offering me wisdom (that's the awesome thing about the Word- it's timeless. It was good and what she needed to hear back in the day, and it is STILL GOOD and STILL what I need to hear today). I even found a flower doodle in a margin- maybe that's where I get that from when my mind wanders. :)

It made me start to think though- what kind of legacy am I leaving for my daughter, my granddaughter, my great-granddaughter? Will she find my Bible someday and toss it aside as trash or will she pick it up and cherish the words held within? Will she find a well worn, well read book, or will she find one that hardly looks touched, never removed from the shelf, because I was too busy today, or because I forgot to bring it to church...or even worse...we got too busy and we didn't even make it to church. Will there be prayer requests scribbled in the margins or will prayer be a forgotten thing in my life and an unknown in hers? 

Where I am today is not where I have to be tomorrow in this- and where I am tomorrow isn't where I have to be a year from now or how my descendants will remember me. As a mom of a high needs toddler, I offer myself grace in these areas and how they have been in the past, but that doesn't mean that there doesn't need to be a change in routine. Today, I picked up the worn pages of my great grandmother's bible and started again. Legacies aren't made overnight, but small changes can have eternal impacts for generations to come. Here's to 2018 being a year of getting back into the Word and learning how to be a woman like Elizabeth.