Growing up, my parents had always stressed the importance of modesty to me. I remember being in middle/early high school and my father telling me that I could wear shirts that showed my belly if I wanted to, but that he would be accompanying me with a belly shirt, as well. :) That was enough incentive to not challenge the rules too much. I was blessed to have a group of friends that also dressed modestly and covered their bodies, so it was an easy enough thing to follow through with. I also attended a church that placed a high emphasis on the idea that my body was a temple that should be saved for my husband. In general, I dressed in a way that showed respect to myself and others. This carried over into my actions. I was far from perfect, but I knew that if I wanted to respect myself, others, and my God...my actions needed to shine a light towards God and not towards sinful man. There was no booty dancing done by me at my prom. There was no making out in the hallways at school (technically, there was no dating or hand holding or kissing either...but that's just because I was different...I'm not here to try and say that this is the way things SHOULD be, it's just how I did it). There were times that I crossed boundaries, that I disobeyed, that I wore things that were borderline inappropriate. In most of these situations though, I always had someone in my life that was there to call me out on what I was doing and help me get back on the right path.
As I started interning at churches, I began to realize that there was "a whole 'nother world" out there. I had been able to shelter myself from much that was going on, but I began to realize that there were so many groups of girls that did not have the same support systems in terms of modesty and how young ladies ought to act. I realize that times are changing. Please know that I'm not hear to tell you that you shouldn't be dressing in pants or shorts or dresses above your knee. I'm not hear to preach about the dangers of wearing a bikini. I feel that these are personal decisions that should be discussed between a parent and child, and eventually is up to the young woman (as she becomes an adult) to decide what the convictions that God has placed on her heart, and her heart specifically, to follow. I think that we can agree, though, that our precious little ones, that especially our elementary and middle school girls do not need to be encouraged to live life or dress in a way that is "sexy".
I just don't get it. I don't understand when it became "cute" to encourage a toddler to shake her booty, do the "whip and the nae nae" (WHATEVER those are...I'm not completely sure), all while wearing a bikini that shows up body parts that have not yet developed/should not be shown to others. Can we not see that we are over-sexualizing these young girls, putting thoughts in their young minds that have no place in their minds. We videotape them pretending to dance like they are "all up in the club", posting it on social media, saying "oh this is so cute, I'm saving this to blackmail them with later", not thinking of the fact that we are not just encouraging this behavior further...but we are also flaunting our young girls' bodies in front of an audience of men that DO NOT WANT to be tempted by them...but due to biology, can have a difficult time if they are predisposed to these temptations.
Mamas, let us love our girls enough to tell them no. Please, let us love them enough to say no to that shirt that it cut too low, for a chest that has nothing to show. Let us love them enough to have hard conversations with them, to explain to them why we don't share our kisses with just anyone, why we don't dance "like that" (and by that, I mean strippers...use your own brain and knowledge of your child to decide how to have THAT conversation). No, you cannot shelter your child from the world. You have to make the hard choice and find out how to have these hard conversations in age-appropriate ways. Trust me- they are going to find out. Wouldn't you rather be the one to tell them the true meaning of these things, the lies of the world....rather than a friend that might be leading them into a life of depravity? Rather than a boy that takes advantage of them, because "he thought she wanted it"? Mamas, love your child enough to not let her unknowingly grow up to be a stripper. Teach her to respect herself, respect her body. Teach her to respect the boys and men around. Teach her to guard her own heart, and to do all she can in her power to guard the hearts of those around her. Teach her the difference between right and wrong. Tell her the facts, so that one day, when she is old enough to make her own decisions, she can make wise, informed ones...so that one day she will have the knowledge to be able to raise her girls to be young ladies that make decisions that bring glory to the Father above. We may not be able to change the world, we might not be able to change the culture on our own, but we can change our families, we can love our girls enough to tell them no.
