I've been peeing on sticks like a crazy lady, and I finally got the two pink lines last weekend. I know what you are thinking- why are you sharing this pregnancy this early? Why would you announce a pregnancy that isn't past the first trimester, the first twelve weeks, I mean- at least wait until the ultrasound. I know the risks of announcing our bundle of joy this early- there is the chance that something could happen and I'd have to share my grief with the world. But, let's get real here- that's what I do. I believe in sharing my story, sharing it wholeheartedly, and being vulnerable. That's how I do life- so wouldn't that be how I do pregnancy?
We are early- possibly very very early. According to my estimates, I should be around 4-8 weeks. When I went to my PCM on Monday, they only did the simple pee test, so I have no clue how my hormones are going or exactly how far along I am. But- between the positive tests, nausea, constant peeing, fatigue, this weird stretching stuff- I feel confident that we are indeed brewing a baby- even if it is early. Morning sickness (or all day sickness, as we refer to it around here) has been in full force, and looking back, it's been around for at least two weeks.
At first, we held back. We told our parents and our siblings. We swore them to secrecy because "it was early" and anything could happen. But then, I began to feel deeply convicted that I needed to share about this baby, our baby- because it is exactly that- a baby. I mean, I claim to be "ProLife" and feel that the things that Planned Parenthood and abortion clinics are terrible, heinous acts because- "it" isn't just a blob of tissue- "it" is a baby. Yet, I hesitate to announce my own pregnancy to the world, because its "not quite enough of a baby yet". I decided in that moment that I was not going to spend my pregnancy in fear. For, God did not give me a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7), and I do not want to make decisions out of fear. I am going to celebrate each moment, each hour, each day, each month, each year that I can with this precious child. Even if God only blesses me with him for a small time, I am going to rejoice in that small amount of time that I get to spend carrying this child. I believe that for all of eternity- I am going to be a mama to this baby. I will always carry this child in my heart- why can I not share him with the world?
- I believe that life begins at the nanosecond of conception. As the cells multiply, my baby is growing and forming- but it has been a baby all along. A baby is a life, even when it is the size of a poppyseed or a pea. I will honor this life that God has blessed me with by celebrating it each and every step of the way. I believe that God already has given this baby a purpose in its very small life- part of that has been to bring me and T great joy! I want it to be said that from the very beginning, my child's life was worth celebrating.
- Why should we wait to announce the pregnancy? If I truly believe that this baby is a baby, then why am I buying into the lie that the world tells me that it isn't a life until 12 weeks or 20 weeks?
- We are so excited and want to share our joy with others. I feel like I have been waiting so so long to be able to be a mama- since I was a wee little girl. We also want to share with others so that they can join us in beginning to pray for this precious life, and the life of our little family. Pray for the baby grow and grow and grow! Pray for the morning sickness. Pray for our family as we prepare to move to a new base that is nine hours away in a few weeks. Pray for T as he deals with my hormones and my complaining. :)
While we are choosing to announce early, I do believe that it is a personal decision. There is no judgement on my part if you choose to wait until the end of the first trimester. Whether you announce at 4 weeks, 12 weeks, 20 weeks, or some other time- it is all about what YOU choose and how God leads you. As for us, I'm a terrible secret keeper combined with my adamant ProLife feelings, so we chose to announce early. I also knew that I wanted a village surrounding me in prayer, so that we could keep the anxieties down and I could be supported through this transition. We are so excited about the coming months ahead- no matter what God brings our way. Yes, the threat of miscarriage scares me sometimes, but I can rest in the fact that no matter what- I've got a God, a husband, and a village that will love and support me every step of the way.
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