But, alas, things changed when I met T. It was September 2014 and we met online and I knew he was in the air force, so I knew that his service would be a part of our relationship. He worked weird hours, but it was fine, because it was still during the day. It was normal, right? We could make this work. And then- things quickly changed. About a week after we started dating, he informed me that he had applied for graduate school and if accepted, he'd be moving to Ohio in August 2015. I was shocked. I mean, how could we do this long distance? I knew he was the one that God had prepared for me, but I was so confused and scared about being in a long distance relationship. Three weeks later, we were engaged to be married, with the intent of being married sometime between January and March- so that we would have been married approximately six months before everything was thrown upside down and we relocated. In January, he learned he had been accepted into AFIT and we would be moving. It was also in January when he went back to working nights. The way his current position works is that he works 3 months days/3 months nights. I hated it when we were dating, but eventually I was able to somewhat adjust my sleep schedule, so I at least go to see him. :) He went back to days in March around the time we got married, and we are still waiting to hear if he will go back to nights in July (it would be hard, since he'd be starting outprocessing stuff at that point). In addition to his crazy schedule, he is literally always on call. Leave is pretty much the only time we are "safe" for him to not get called in. It's only happened a few times, but it really stinks when you are in the middle of a fun date day on a day your husband is off, and he gets a call telling him that they need him to report for duty. Granted, its always been just a little paperwork thing, and he comes home a few hours later, but it stinks to know that you can't go more than a certain distance away without leave.
I was reading an article the other day that was complaining about how military members and their dependents got all sorts of "free" stuff- healthcare (which, I should add- it's required that any full time buisness offer healthcare. Yes, ours is free. But, I can tell you that there is a reason it is free- its a huge hassle, there are multi-week waits to get into see a doctor, EVERYTHING has to be preapproved unless you are dying, and most non-on base doctors that accept Tricare are terrible), the commissary (yes, it's tax free, but I promise that it's not always cheaper), on base rec facilities and work out rooms (okay, that is a pretty nice perk- but I've never used them, so I have nothing to complain about). In response to these complaints from the Washington Post and others, this blog wrote:
Service members, retirees and their families, the tone says, are acting like privileged brats for expecting, accepting and clinging to the benefits which encourage them to stay military or even to join in the first place. In fact, the tone says, it is a waste of tax payer money to meet military personnel needs or even give nice-to-haves in exchange for keeping them around. Service members are overpaid, coddled low-skill workers who should not be given compensation for the inconveniences of military life, but who should still be expected to do their jobs anyway. It’s a tone that says if you had to join the military to make it through life you are, logically, a substandard American worker and you do not warrant compensation in excess or even equal to the civilian market. Civilians are people who have choices and didn’t take the easy out of Uncle Sam. Military are people who are living off the tax payer.Okay...I get it, we are living off of the tax payer. But isn't that the point? Aren't presidents and governors and senators and other political people living off of the tax payer? I don't view it like I view Medicaid/Medicare (even though most doctors and pharmacies do!)- how I view it is like this: Service members put their lives on the line every day. They are in control of nothing- a commander can tell you that you are moving to this squadron or this job and all of your hours will change. You can get deployed with very little notice. You have to move every few years. Military members and their dependents give up a lot of things- some have to sacrifice more, due to their assignments. Not all service members are uneducated- to be an officer, you have to have a college degree (I think...don't quote me on this). My husband was enlisted, then he decided to go to the Academy. That's a prep school year, and four years of college-at a service academy. With his degree, he could be doing well in the corporate world (not to say that we aren't doing well, but you know what I mean- it wasn't like he joined the air force because it would be easy and he didn't want to flip burgers). It took hard work and perseverance to get to where he is today. I don't think that any rational person would look at his accomplishments and say that he was a "substandard American worker" or a "overpaid, coddled low-skill worker". I don't think he took the easy way out, I don't think we took the easy way out. The way I see it, not only does he work a high stress job, we also get to PCS (move) every two or three years. This means that our kids will most likely go to at least four to six different schools. This means we will be moving and selling and renting all the time (until he retires, of course). This means that our kids won't be able to grow up down the road from either set of their grandparents. This means that I get to find a new therapist every two years (which is normally a minimum set of time for me to actually get used to one).
So yes, Washington Post writers- you are paying for my "healthcare" and my kids schooling (if we go to DOD schools). Yes, you are funding a commissary and workout facilities. Yes, you are paying for various services to be provided to us on base for free or minimal cost. But really, what would you do without us? What would you do without brave men and women fighting for your freedom to write that article and to say those statements? You get to stay in your comfy little house in your comfortable community while other men and women leave their families for months on end to keep you safe. Sure, you don't have a guaranteed job- but, if you want one...who knows...the military might offer someone was "substandard" and "low skilled" as you a guaranteed job- if you are willing to sacrifice for it.
Sorry for this whiney-MILSO post. I generally try to avoid stuff life this, but today it just bottled up. I don't want to move. I like our house now that it's all prettyfied. I like our town. I like being close to my family. I don't like the idea of having to keep my house super clean so that it can be ready for a showing at any given time. I don't like the idea of moving 9 hours away to a place I've never been. But, I'm doing these hard things anyways. I'm packing up our stuff. I'm researching places to rent. I'm doing everything my mind is telling me that it doesn't want to do- because I love my husband and I promised on our wedding day that I'd "follow and support [him] wherever God…or the United States Air Force…calls [him] to go." The sacrifices that this military wife life requires are worth it, because it keeps our freedoms, our children's freedoms, and our children's children's freedoms alive.
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